For many years I have been overjoyed for many of my family, friends, and clients as they experienced the blessing of welcoming a new baby into their family.
I have watched as they glowed with pure love and happiness over their sweet little bundle of joy, and now, I finally have learned first hand exactly how wonderful that experience is!
Becoming a mother to our precious baby boy has been an experience like nothing else in my life. It was so strange to me as I neared the end of my pregnancy, trying to wrap my head around the knowledge that soon the baby that I had carried for 9 months would be out in the world, in my arms. It was a bit scary and intimidating to imagine, I knew that inside my womb he was safe and with me at all times, but once he arrived, how would I keep him safe? How would I know what to do and how to care for him? I had been around babies my entire life, and was familiar with feeding, changing, and putting babies to sleep, but to be the person responsible for keeping this tiny human alive seemed like so much more a daunting task. Thankfully I had the support of my loving husband and family and didn't have to tackle this new chapter alone. My momma was by my side through my entire 24 hours of labor, comforting me and encouraging me as I endured the pains of labor. I know it was worth being up all night and being exhausted to see her grandson come into this world. I may have been exhausted myself, but I loved seeing how my momma just glowed as she looked upon this sweet baby boy. I know it was just as special for her to be there, as it was for me to have her there with Brandon and I. Her support was so amazing and helpful for both of us as we became new parents.
I knew I loved my husband before, that's why I married him! But watching him become a father just made me love him so much more. He was so nervous when my water broke that he nearly got us into an accident on the way to the hospital! My husband may have been nervous about becoming a father, but witnessing him become wrapped around our little boy's finger just made my heart nearly explode with love. During our time in the hospital and the first few days at home as we adjusted to being new parents, he got up to help with every diaper change and every feeding. One of my favorite moments in the hospital together was when our son was in my lap, and Brandon came and stood with us and gave Christian his finger to hold onto. It was such a tender and beautiful moment, to see our son holding onto his daddy's finger, and see the look of love on my husband's face. I will forever hold that memory so dear to my heart. The way he looks at our son and holds him in his arms, I know that he is just as smitten as I am with our little boy.
Becoming a mother and having my baby boy out in the world, no longer safe and close to me at all times as he was in the womb, certainly came with its own challenges for me. While I was so ready to come home and sleep in my own bed after we left the hospital, I found that I couldn't relax and kept staring at the monitor at every little sound and movement our son made. I ended up sleeping in the recliner in his nursery for three nights straight, with my glasses on and the hallway light so that if I heard him stir I needed to only open my eyes and could see that he was okay. It took a good deal of effort and telling myself it would be for the best to finally bring myself to sleep in a separate room from him, although there have been many nights since that have found me falling asleep in the middle of the night with him in the recliner after a feeding. But every sleepless night and middle of the night wake up has been completely worth it as I get to gaze upon our son's sweet face and see him smiling up at me.
Our son's precious smile has filled my heart with so much joy, that somedays I truly think it might burst from all the love I feel! I have loved my family, my husband, our pets, but the love I feel for my son is like absolutely nothing else in this world. From the moment they laid him on my chest and I saw him looking up at me and taking in the world around him, I knew I would love him with my whole heart for all of my life. I have spent many days, curled up with him snuggled on my chest, not caring in the slightest about anything else in this world. One of the statements that one of our nurses told us when he arrived that has stuck with me, is that you can't spoil a baby by holding them too much, and I have made sure to hold fast to that. Not that I needed validation for snuggling our bundle of joy. I have watched how quickly time goes by for those with little ones around me, and I am determined to enjoy all the baby snuggles I can because they are only little for a short time! That could be why he is also one of the most content, and happy babies we could have hoped for. Sure, he may have given me a run for my money to try and take any newborn photos of him, but beyond that, he has truly spoiled us with his peaceful and easy personality. He fills my days with sunshine, and I have never been so happy in my life as I have been since his arrival. He has been the greatest blessing and was worth the long wait, every labor pain, every bruise to my ribs as he dug his feet into them for months, every single discomfort and bit of exhaustion I experienced. I would go through it all again for the sake of meeting him and having him in my life every single day.
Christian James, I may not be able to buy you all the fancy things life has to offer, but I promise to give you all of my love, for all of my days. And I hope that someday when you're older, you will be able to look back and know just how much I have loved you from the moment I met you, and that I always will love you with my whole heart. You, my son, are the greatest blessing I have ever been given in my life, and I thank God every single day that you are my son.